Post by lamb81 on Dec 7, 2008 9:02:10 GMT -8
orignaly posted by hellaholla from the NDC
In honor of the last show tomorrow night (snif), I wrote up a G-related riff on "A Visit from St. Nicholas". (It's an epic, but stick with it, OK? ) Feel free to share it with any GweND friends ya know. Thanks! (helhol)
A Visit from St. Gwen
(Sunrise FL, December 21)
Twas four nights before Christmas / and all through my crib
I was drinking a Red Bull / and eating a rib
My Christmas tree sat / all plastic and sad
Not a present was coming / from broke-asz ol' Dad
My children were nestled / all snug at their mom's
I finished my rib / and let off some asz bombs
I grabbed the June Penthouse / and a Red Bull to sip
And sat down on my toilet / to let a few rip
Then I heard a loud noise / Like a big engine revvin'
I said, "No more Taquitos / from Seven-Eleven."
But the noise just got louder / So I had to see
From where it was coming / 'Cuz it wasn't from me
I felt like I'd been smokin' / some Anaheim herb
'Cuz what did I see / rolling up on my curb
But a '61 Chevy / all yellow and good
With "Hollaback Girl" / painted right on the hood!
My eyes were stone buggin' / at what they just spotted
I yelled "BACK IT UP" / and some chick said "You got it!"
Then the doors all popped open / And out of the back
Climbed a sweet blonde chica / With a big Christmas pack
She stood like a vision / right there in the street
Santa hat on her head / Platform shoes on her feet
Her hair was so lovely / Her face all aglow
I knew in an instant / it must be Sheryl Crow! (What?! Oh damn, I gotta edit that out)
She walked into my house / Closed the door with a slam
Held up the big pack / and yelled "WHO WANTS SOME L.A.M.B.?!"
She began throwing presents / All over the room
With her big platform shoes / Going BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
Hoodies and Sweaters / and Tee-shirts, oh yes
And a sh!tload of B-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-S!
I ran back in the house / and what did I see?
Sweet Gwen Stefani / decorating my tree! (Awww)
She made it all shiny / with tinsel and lights
Like the sun coming out / in the middle of night
I couldn't believe it / and she just wouldn't stop
Til she placed a big "G" star / right up on the top!
"MERRY CHRISTMAS" she shouted / and gave me her hat
I said "Screw dat, / where dem Japanese bitches at!"
Gwen let out a giggle / and smiled with delight
Threw open my door / and yelled into the night:
"On Love! On Angel! / On Music! On Baby!
Stop kissing my driver / you girls are so crazy!"
And they entered my house / all dancin' and struttin'
Looked me right in the eye / and they all said....NUTTIN'! (It was awesome!)
Angel opened my fridge / And announced "He's Got Beer!"
So Gwen holla'd out the door / "Yo Band - get in here!!"
Before I could even / give her permission -
My whole flippin' house / Was full of musicians!
Warren Fitzgerald / and Khristopher Pooley
Brought guitars and keys / and lotsa patchouli
Zachary was there! / And Gail Ann Dorsey was!
And Gabriel McNair? / Hell, man, OF COURSE he was!!
But Gwen didn't stop there / She brought her whole crew --
Truck drivers and riggers / And breakdancers too!
Before I could figure out / what was goin' on
They were doin' a concert / right on my lawn!
They did covers and carols / and jammed for hours
The dancers all dancin' / on top of my flowers
What a Great Christmas!! / This sure was a winner
Then one of the drivers yelled / "Play Some Damn SKYNYRD!"
Warren Fitzgerald / was almost in tears
This was the moment / he'd wanted for years
He jumped on my car / with quickness and pep
And played the into / to "Gimme Three Steps"
"HELL YEAH!" cried the driver / who started to dance
Yelled out "Merry Christmas" / then pulled down his pants (Ai...)
By this time the party / was totally nuts
There was champagne and strippers / and shmokin' da buttsh
Some lighting dude tried / to put nipple clamps on me!
I said "This is messed up / where the freak is Stefani?!"
I looked out the window / and damn nearly died:
The Chevy was leaving / and Gwen was inside!!
I ran into the street / grabbed hold of the wheel
I looked in the back / and said "YO WHAT'S THE DEAL?!?!"
"I'm meeting Gavin / in London for dinner
Plus I've got a headache / I frickin' hate Skynyrd."
"Look, you're a nice lady / and I don't mean to shout
But your band's going crazy / they've gotta get out!!"
Gwen looked at the party / and gave me a pout
Then said "That's not my band...MY band is NO DOUBT!"
"Gwen! What do I do / and more importantly, how?"
She said "My tour's over, babe / they're YOUR problem now!"
She waved at the driver / and said "Dude, let's get lost!"
And they left me behind / in a blast of exhaust
But I heard her exclaim / on this magical Yule
"Merry Christmas to All........I know we're cool!"
In honor of the last show tomorrow night (snif), I wrote up a G-related riff on "A Visit from St. Nicholas". (It's an epic, but stick with it, OK? ) Feel free to share it with any GweND friends ya know. Thanks! (helhol)
A Visit from St. Gwen
(Sunrise FL, December 21)
Twas four nights before Christmas / and all through my crib
I was drinking a Red Bull / and eating a rib
My Christmas tree sat / all plastic and sad
Not a present was coming / from broke-asz ol' Dad
My children were nestled / all snug at their mom's
I finished my rib / and let off some asz bombs
I grabbed the June Penthouse / and a Red Bull to sip
And sat down on my toilet / to let a few rip
Then I heard a loud noise / Like a big engine revvin'
I said, "No more Taquitos / from Seven-Eleven."
But the noise just got louder / So I had to see
From where it was coming / 'Cuz it wasn't from me
I felt like I'd been smokin' / some Anaheim herb
'Cuz what did I see / rolling up on my curb
But a '61 Chevy / all yellow and good
With "Hollaback Girl" / painted right on the hood!
My eyes were stone buggin' / at what they just spotted
I yelled "BACK IT UP" / and some chick said "You got it!"
Then the doors all popped open / And out of the back
Climbed a sweet blonde chica / With a big Christmas pack
She stood like a vision / right there in the street
Santa hat on her head / Platform shoes on her feet
Her hair was so lovely / Her face all aglow
I knew in an instant / it must be Sheryl Crow! (What?! Oh damn, I gotta edit that out)
She walked into my house / Closed the door with a slam
Held up the big pack / and yelled "WHO WANTS SOME L.A.M.B.?!"
She began throwing presents / All over the room
With her big platform shoes / Going BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
Hoodies and Sweaters / and Tee-shirts, oh yes
And a sh!tload of B-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-N-A-S!
I ran back in the house / and what did I see?
Sweet Gwen Stefani / decorating my tree! (Awww)
She made it all shiny / with tinsel and lights
Like the sun coming out / in the middle of night
I couldn't believe it / and she just wouldn't stop
Til she placed a big "G" star / right up on the top!
"MERRY CHRISTMAS" she shouted / and gave me her hat
I said "Screw dat, / where dem Japanese bitches at!"
Gwen let out a giggle / and smiled with delight
Threw open my door / and yelled into the night:
"On Love! On Angel! / On Music! On Baby!
Stop kissing my driver / you girls are so crazy!"
And they entered my house / all dancin' and struttin'
Looked me right in the eye / and they all said....NUTTIN'! (It was awesome!)
Angel opened my fridge / And announced "He's Got Beer!"
So Gwen holla'd out the door / "Yo Band - get in here!!"
Before I could even / give her permission -
My whole flippin' house / Was full of musicians!
Warren Fitzgerald / and Khristopher Pooley
Brought guitars and keys / and lotsa patchouli
Zachary was there! / And Gail Ann Dorsey was!
And Gabriel McNair? / Hell, man, OF COURSE he was!!
But Gwen didn't stop there / She brought her whole crew --
Truck drivers and riggers / And breakdancers too!
Before I could figure out / what was goin' on
They were doin' a concert / right on my lawn!
They did covers and carols / and jammed for hours
The dancers all dancin' / on top of my flowers
What a Great Christmas!! / This sure was a winner
Then one of the drivers yelled / "Play Some Damn SKYNYRD!"
Warren Fitzgerald / was almost in tears
This was the moment / he'd wanted for years
He jumped on my car / with quickness and pep
And played the into / to "Gimme Three Steps"
"HELL YEAH!" cried the driver / who started to dance
Yelled out "Merry Christmas" / then pulled down his pants (Ai...)
By this time the party / was totally nuts
There was champagne and strippers / and shmokin' da buttsh
Some lighting dude tried / to put nipple clamps on me!
I said "This is messed up / where the freak is Stefani?!"
I looked out the window / and damn nearly died:
The Chevy was leaving / and Gwen was inside!!
I ran into the street / grabbed hold of the wheel
I looked in the back / and said "YO WHAT'S THE DEAL?!?!"
"I'm meeting Gavin / in London for dinner
Plus I've got a headache / I frickin' hate Skynyrd."
"Look, you're a nice lady / and I don't mean to shout
But your band's going crazy / they've gotta get out!!"
Gwen looked at the party / and gave me a pout
Then said "That's not my band...MY band is NO DOUBT!"
"Gwen! What do I do / and more importantly, how?"
She said "My tour's over, babe / they're YOUR problem now!"
She waved at the driver / and said "Dude, let's get lost!"
And they left me behind / in a blast of exhaust
But I heard her exclaim / on this magical Yule
"Merry Christmas to All........I know we're cool!"